A little update. I think maybe because April was a really really busy month for us that we didn’t have time for each other and I guess we bicker so much because of it. It’s May and we’re both stress free. I mean not really, but we get to hang out more and all that crap. I’m starting to feel like how it was when we first got together IDK HOW OR WHY HOLY. I’m so in love like I can’t handle. I can’t explain how happy I am when I’m with him.
This would be my reaction
You can change and do so much for a person. You can also try so hard and put in so much effort, but you get shit like as if it’s your fault. So fuck you.
I don’t know my worth if I continuously lower my standards for someone who is probably temporarily important to me. I never thought it come to this day where I thought to myself that you were never good for me anyway. I swear, we had infinite laughs, memories from dates to road trips, to family gatherings and random days together. Like we were so happy and so good and all the sudden the effort isn’t there anymore. I don’t need that dine me out typa love or the spoiling buying me stuff. I need that come lay down lets watch a movie, lets wake up and talk about weird ass stories we never even knew about each other. and I don’t mean getting all freaky too n shit. nuff with that. I’m tired of waiting around for someone who has completely given up on me. Well not completely, but always wanting me whenever they want. Like how do you forget to text me? Why don’t I ever get any reassurance? I remember you telling me that you don’t wanna over do it because it would just mean nothing. I’ve never gotten one since you last told me that. I can trace that several months ago. There’s nothing. I never, ever think I ask too much. I just want some things that I shouldn’t have to ask for. I’m not saying I’ve completely given up on us because I don’t want that to happen. And you know what makes me even more disappointed. Waiting alllllll week to hang out with you, but then you get so caught up you forget to text me or you just don’t. I waste my whole day waiting. I am always waiting. Communication is the problem. It never used to be like that. We used to always talk out our problems. Maybe we’re just too comfortable, although I refuse to think that because you’re the one whose given up. Maybe you’re right too. I should find me a honey who can show me affection, and grind so hard that he can spoil me at the same time and me, I can do the same. Like I’m so tired. What’s the point now. What’s the point in staying? You don’t need me. Especially now, when we hang out, we stay silent and there it goes. Us not talking anymore. We always hated those couples who breaks up constantly and fight on the daily. Now, we’re becoming just like them and why? Why are we fighting? All I asked was if I made you happy. You couldn’t even answer me the first time because you asked me why I would ask such a thing. The second time, all I get is a shrug. Man, I don’t know how to stress that enough that a girl has her needs and an answer is what we all ask for. Never do I get any. How will we make up if we don’t talk, especially when I’m right in front of you?